How to Fix a Huge Argument and Save a Dying Relationship
Let's take a look at tips that will help you stop arguing and fighting with your partner and throw light on how We've been through a lot, and I don't want all the effort that's been put in our relationship to go waste. Trust me. Couples who argue effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy an argument, which, in turn, will be good for their relationship, said Joseph considering the longer term costs to intimacy, trust and connection.”. Can you tell if your spats have veered into territory that relationship Believe it or not, you're not arguing about what you think you're arguing about. Maybe one spouse wants to spend a lot of time with one set and the other doesn't. . “When trust and communication are gone, and neither of you is even.
- 2. Look at Old Pictures of The Two of You Together
- 1. Stop Swearing
- Why Couples Who Argue Love Each Other More
Save your love, recreate it. Saving a Relationship on the Brink A "dying relationship", how melancholic these two words are. I don't want you to sink into a more melancholic mood. The moment demands you to introspect and think on ways to save what you once had. You surely love the person, because that is the reason you are here. The reason the ship is sinking is because the iceberg argument has hit it.
What you need to do is leave your grudges and talk patiently with your partner. When was the last time you said "I love you" to your partner, with the same feeling of "I mean it" in your heart? Or are you just saying those three magic words for the sake of it If you do love the person and want the relation to work, do the following first.
One needs to learn to forgive, if not forget.
Why Couples Who Argue Love Each Other More
Learn not to bring that factor into your discussion every single time. And this holds true no matter who was wrong. If only one of you apologizes means more fights.
Thus talk it out with your partner and say how much you love and want the relationship to 'sail'. If you are not comfortable expressing your love verbally, take the help of a letter. A letter will convey it all, with your partner listening to your points patiently. The argument could be about an impending marriage, with one wanting it and the other loathing it.
Another reason could be, you made a mistake unknowingly and cheated. Stephanie Sarkis, shared on Psychology Today, that there are seven ingredients to a healthy and happy relationship, and arguing is one of them. They never fight, however — they argue. You can argue without fighting. Arguing is non-combative — you and your partner state your points of view without name-calling or raising your voice. Now rethink that list. I like the saying, You can either be right, or married.
Once the initial stages pass on to stability and longevity, people tend to fall into their own territories again. They want to be heard and understood, follow their passions, and be acknowledged for who they are. Couples who argue are expressing their desires to be heard. It is expressing their needs. And happy couples hear each other. In a moment of heavy discussion. You can respect and show vulnerability. There is a difference between angry fighting and truly expressing your thoughts in a relationship.
You learn to pick and choose your battles. Author and motivational speaker, Elizabeth Gilbert, says it best: It's important to figure out what makes you tick.
Meditation is also a great way to ground yourself and is a reminder that feelings are only temporary. If you are having a bad day and your temper is short, step back and refrain from getting into any heated conversations with your partner. If they start a discussion that touches a tender nerve, just tell them something along the lines of, "Look, it's best if we don't talk right now. I'm not in the right frame of mind.
How to Fix a Huge Argument and Save a Dying Relationship
Take a Break If you're in the midst of a fight, sometimes it's better to just walk away and take a breather—you don't want to say something you'll regret. Head to separate rooms and chill out with some TV or a book. That way, you can resume your discussion when you're both more level-headed. Spend a Few Days Apart At some point, partners who continuously argue with each other may, in fact, believe that their lives are better off without each other.
If you think this may be the case with your relationship, get a taste of loneliness by spending a few days apart. You will likely realize how much you enjoy their company and how important the relationship is to you. Don't attend a party or an event where there is alcohol.
Booze can make you do the wrong thing at the wrong time with the wrong company. If you're unable to spend some time apart or believe it would do your relationship more harm than good, Sloan suggests this tip: Give yourselves some breathing room and build positive energy.
That energy will help you hear each other and solve the problem while also protecting your relationship from too much negativity. Remember Why Your Relationship Is Worth Saving The easiest way to be reminded of how badly you want to stop fighting with your significant other is to make a short but hard-hitting list of things that point out why you want to save your relationship.
It can be a silly and mushy list, or it can be a serious list of things that hit you hard. Next, put that list up at a place where you can see it every day. Use a piece of paper or use post-it notes—whatever will grab your attention every time you walk by. Here are a few examples. I want to stop fighting with my boyfriend because I love him a lot. I can't afford to lose him. I would feel jealous and destroyed if he started dating someone else. Who is going to drop me off at dance class every week?
I can't spend one day without him, let alone one week. We make the perfect pair. We've been through a lot, and I don't want all the effort that's been put in our relationship to go waste. I want to stop fighting with my girlfriend because I love her and we have a great bond. She is beautiful and makes me laugh. I have never had a chemistry with anyone as good as the one that I have with her—inside and outside the bedroom.
Who else will accept my idiosyncrasies?
She is perfect for me, and not just because she is hot. Neither of us is perfect and I don't want to lose a person just because I wasn't willing to listen.